For years now I've openly mocked people and their terror tales of wisdom teeth. There were stories of teeth being chiseled out of jaws, drunk surgeons removing the wrong teeth, two sets of wisdom teeth growing through, causing the jaw to dislocate. Real scary shit. But I always laughed and made snide comments, because it wasn't happening to me. But now the winds of Karma have changed direction and blown back in my face. It all began three days ago when I rolled out of bed, cringing in agony. Pain was radiating from my jaw, blurring my sight.
I staggered into the bathroom, clutching my jaw. I was clueless. I had no formal training in dentistry. First I needed a visual of where the pain was coming from. Had I chipped a tooth or had a spider crawled into my mouth while I was asleep and bitten my gum? I just didn't know.
It was tricky to get a visual on the source of my pain, due to the fact it was in the dark recesses of my mouth. Armed with a steak knife and a torch I finally caught a glimpse of a sorry excuse of a tooth, flanked by flaps of skin, that had never been there before.
Now I have joined that exclusive clique of people whinging about their wisdom teeth. But ever since opening up about this painful little problem, people have been throwing all sorts of multi-coloured, past use by date pain meds my way, leaving me in a perpetual prescription drug haze.
It will be a couple of weeks before I'll be able to hunt down a qualified dentist to knock me out and go to town on my mouth with a set of Black&Decker power tools, so until then I'll amble around, clouded by strangers' left over drugs.
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